When Insults had
Class and it Was an Art Form!!!
Unfortunately, with the decline of
literacy in our population, we are losing the ability to insult persons
properly.
Consider the following quotations and
then think about any you might hear today.
"He has all the virtues I dislike and
none of the vices I admire." -- Winston Churchill
"A modest little person, with
much to be modest about." -- Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I
have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-- Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word
that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner
(about Ernest Hemingway)
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
reading it."
-- Moses Hadas
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I
know."
-- Abraham Lincoln
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved
of it."
-- Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar
Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend.... if you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is
one."
-- Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
-- Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-- Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
-- Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating
"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr
"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
-- Jack E. Leonard
"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." -- Robert Redford
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human
knowledge ." -- Thomas Brackett Reed
"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by
diligent and hard work, he overcame them." -- James Reston (about
Richard Nixon)
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
-- Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." -- Forrest
Tucker
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?"
-- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-- Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support
rather than illumination." -- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." -- Billy Wilder
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